Leader Tips
Below you'll find quick tips from Stonecreek's leadership team as well as other pastors and resources from around the country on a variety of issues related to leading a Connection Group. From 'Getting Your Group Going' to 'Planning for Special Occasions' these tips are good thought starters. Print out this page for easy reference or copy and paste into your own document.
Have a question not covered below or a tip you'd like to share? E-mail us at .
1. GET YOUR GROUP GOING
What curriculum should I use in my connection group?
What should I do if the book we've chosen doesn't have a study guide?
How can I get people to talk and open up at the first meeting?
2. KEEP YOUR GROUP GOING STRONG
How can I pick a curriculum that really gets people connecting with one another?
What are some ways I can help deepen relationships among the group members?
What should I do if someone hasn't come to group in a few weeks?
What should I do if someone needs more care than I or the group can provide?
3. PLAN FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS
1. GET YOUR GROUP GOING
What curriculum should I use in my connection group?
Use the three Ps to choose the best study for your group:
Parameters: How often do you meet? How much time does the group really have to complete the work? Don't choose a 12-week study if you only have four weeks until the end of a semester or the holidays. Likewise, don't choose a study with several hours of prep time if the group knows it won't be able to commit.
People: Where is the majority of the group spiritually? Where are people struggling to understand? How can you challenge the group to grow?
Purpose: What are one or two topics everyone is interested in learning? Is it how to be better parents? How to improve relationships? How to study a particular book of the Bible? Have the group e-mail a few ideas to you in order of interest and you determine what comes to the top. It's okay to have more than one purpose among the group. This just means whichever purpose is not chosen this time around can be the automatic default for the next group study.
What should I do if the book we've chosen doesn't have a study guide?
Small groups often discuss books by Christian authors, one or two chapters at a time. The next time your group chooses a book to read--and it doesn't come with a study guide or questions for group interaction--employ the following tips. Read more...
How can I get people to talk and open up at the first meeting?
A connection group is all about making a connection with other people. Try one of the following warm up ideas at your next group meeting to help people make that initial connection.
What are some good ways to handle our prayer time?
Try a few of these over the course of your time together. Try one way for a few weeks then change to another way for the next few weeks. Changing prayer time up gets the group involved and shows it is okay to pray in different ways.
Leader prayer - For a first meeting where people may not know each other well, take prayer requests and then, as the leader, offer a closing prayer. To solicit requests, ask the question, "How can this group pray for you this week?"
Volunteer prayer - At your next meeting ask for volunteers to lead the prayer at upcoming meetings. Let the group know it is okay if no one is ready. If someone volunteers, get with them a few days before the meeting so as not to surprise them. At the meeting, you ask for prayer requests and then turn it over to the volunteer to close in prayer.
Domino prayer - Ask everyone to take turns praying out loud for the person to their right.
Prayer cards - Have each person in the group take an index card and write their name across the top along with one or two prayers. Then have men randomly exchange cards with each other and women randomly exchange cards with each other. Throughout the week, everyone is to pray for the person on the card they received.
2. KEEP YOUR GROUP GOING STRONG
How can I pick a curriculum that really gets people connecting with one another?
One of the secrets of effective small group ministry is thinking in terms of developing a "one another" culture in your group rather than relying exclusively on a curriculum. Specifically, leaders should develop a small group agenda that incorporates all the "one another" values found in the New Testament. Read more...
What are some ways I can help deepen relationships among the group members?
It goes without saying we're more willing to open up and be honest with people we know. One of the best ways we can get to know each other is by asking questions. But to really develop a deep relationship with someone takes more than "Where are you from?" or "What do you do for a living?"
Learn a few of the following questions and use them at the next meeting during your group's social time or to start off the study time.
"Who Are You" Questions
God has given each of us unique qualities. These questions help bring out each person's individuality.
What colors, things and type of decor do you like to surround yourself with in your home?
What are your hobbies and what about them do you enjoy?
What was the best part about your childhood?
What's one of your earliest memories?
How do you picture your life ten, twenty or thirty years from now?
Fun Questions
Use these questions to share fun and funny stories to break through the stress barrier.
Who's your favorite cartoon character?
What's your favorite way to relax, both with others and by yourself?
What was your nickname as a kid? Why were you called that? Did you like it or hate it?
What are you better at than anyone else you know? What are you worse at?
Spiritual Questions
These questions emphasize the fact that even though everyone is different, in Christ we share the same faith and we all have questions about our faith.
Tell me the story of how you became a Christian.
What would you like to change about your relationship with Christ?
How do you imagine or picture God?
What's the most meaningful Scripture passage to you and why?
How has your relationship with Christ changed over your life?
Relationship Questions
These questions build connections and friendships among members of your group.
Growing up, who did you consider to be your best friend and why?
What would your friends say is the best thing about having you as their friend?
Do you like having a lot of friends or a few very close friends? Explain.
How can I know what's really going on within the group?
Most leaders are good talkers, but the best ones excel in listening, as well. This is especially true in a small-group setting. Many people join discussion groups so that others will listen to them. A good leader acknowledges this need and will use it as a valuable tool to help those people learn and grow. Download and read the rest of the article...
How should I work with difficult people in my group?
You know, the fact is that we will all have these kinds of people within our groups no matter what type of leader you might be. Let me give you three ways to help you deal with difficult people.
The first way is to investigate: Have you investigated why this person is being such a problem within your group? Have you called them or spent a little time finding out if there is something within or about the group that is making them uneasy or something going on in their daily lives?
The second way is to inform: Have you discussed with your group the purpose for group? Let them know that everyone is valued and all their opinions are valued. Tell them how you want to let them be as interactive as they can possibly be in the discussion of the group. Also, let them know that if the group is below or above their current level of spirituality, we will work with them as a church to get them connected in where they will feel more comfortable.
The third way is to invest: Finally, have you invested in this person? Have you specifically tried to address the problems this person is causing? Or just investing into the spiritual health of this person?
For more information, check out pages 26 through 29 of the Group Leader Training Manual.
What should I do if someone hasn't come to group in a few weeks?
If people connect in community, they're going to call you and tell you they're not coming. You're going to call them and find out what's going on as soon as they miss a week. If someone hasn't shown up for a couple of weeks, please reach out to them. Sometimes things are going on in people's lives that make them feel ashamed or uneasy to be around others. But this is when people need a strong group around them the most. Call and try to find out what's going on in their life and how you personally can support them (prayer, grabbing some coffee or directing them to some professional help.)
If nothing is going on and the reason is because they haven't connected, let them know we will work as a church to find a group or situation that works. If the group is one with young children and the person or couple doesn't have a child, it may not work. So what we can do is to help them connect in another group. That's okay. Or maybe, we can ask them some questions and find out about their life and help them connect in your group.
How should I respond if someone shares something really deep during group time that makes people feel awkward?
Have you ever had somebody in your group bring up something that was maybe a borderline attack on a spouse or maybe it was just too much information? And everyone stops and they look around and no one really knows what to say at that time. That's an uncomfortable time for a leader, but it's a time when a leader has to step up to the plate.
The first thing you do is acknowledge the problem. Acknowledge the statement that the person has made in order to let the person know you've heard them. Secondly, try to reframe the problem. Rephrase the comment or situation in a positive light and then offer hope regarding the problem. The third thing you have to do, especially if they just keep talking and they won't turn it loose, is say something along the lines of, "You know what, I can see that this really bothers you. Why don't we just stop and pray about it right now?"
Lastly, these kinds of things require follow up. Later on that night, or maybe over the phone the following day, pull the person to the side and follow up on where everything was left off. Again, use the additional resources found on pages 26 through 29 in the Leader Training Manual.
What should I do if someone needs more care than I or the group can provide?
As a group leader, you are on the front lines of support when someone in the group is grieving, struggling with life changes or dealing with any of life's many challenges. Stonecreek has a Life Care Ministry with people trained to help provide Christ's care to those in need in your connection group. Stonecreek also has a list of counselors and community resources to support you in leading your group through everyday life. Learn more >
How should I handle conflict in the group?
It might seem against the grain, but if you're not having conflict, you're not having community. So what happens when conflict breaks out in your group? Anytime you get several people together and you have different personalities, you're bound to have conflict. And the Bible gives clear instruction on how to handle it.
The first thing that you need to do if you're not involved in the conflict is make sure the people that are involved get together and talk one-on-one. That's the first step. The Bible says, "Don't get involved until they've talked one-on-one." Now after that, as a Group Leader, you may want to get involved. Maybe you'll want to go to have coffee with them and make sure everything is okay. Maybe you'll want to sit down and talk with them and just go through some Biblical examples of how to handle conflict. But the worst thing you can do is to avoid it. Don't let conflict just sit around in your group, because before long you'll have a whole group in conflict. Do something about it. When conflict breaks out, get the parties together and talk about it, it's that simple.
What if our group needs to take a break?
Where on the priority list of our hearts do you think our small group meetings rank? Has the priority of your small group meetings fallen a little lower than usual? In today's world we are continually prioritizing our obligations to make more time for the things that matter most to us. A group that meets week after week, without the proper breaks, becomes just a routine. Periodically a group needs a break from the routine to make time to practice the community they have been working towards. Taking the time to relate to each other can be a rewarding experience. Read the full article>
3. PLAN FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS
What can our group do to stay connected through the summer?
While Summer is a great time to scale back on the intensity of the study or the frequency of meetings, Summer is not a time to "take a break." Below are some fun, easy ways to stay connected relationally and spiritually during the Summer months.
Progressive Picnic - Instead of a progressive dinner, organize in a park or in a few different backyards appetizers, dinner and dessert.
Fireworks Fellowship - Make plans with whoever is in town to see the local fireworks. Pack a picnic dinner and during the evening, try the folliowing discussion questions:
Ask each person to say a prayer (out loud or silently) for those in the world who don't enjoy religious freedom.
Read Isaiah 61:1-3 and ask each person who they think Isaiah would consider around where we live today to be poor, brokenhearted, captive and a prisoner. Then, ask what the group can do to reach out to these people in our midst.
NOOMA DVD Studies - These are great DVD studies with very engaging messages and discussion questions that any group would enjoy. Each DVD is about 15 minutes and covers a specific topic about God, faith and living each day with Christ. We have a first-come, first-serve library of these studies at Stonecreek. If you're interested in checking one out:
1. Visit nooma.com and review what's out there
2. Pick a couple of titles and give us a call at 770-754-7900, ext. 110 to make
a request
3. We'll let you know if we have it and have one ready for you at the Segue
Desk on Sunday.
Each DVD is due back within two weeks and it is the responsibility of the group to replace any lost or damaged DVDs.
Movie Nights - Summer is blockbuster movie time and movies can be a fun, social way to get together and discuss how faith and culture intersect. You can either check out a movie currently in theaters and then have a discussion afterwards using the following thought starters:
What moral or faith-based message(s) do you think that movie was sending?
How could you use this movie and its themes to talk with someone about your faith?
You can also rent a movie and have a movie night in your home followed by a couple of discussion questions. Have group members bring snacks or dessert and enjoy. To help, below are some initial ideas provided by Group.com, along with questions.
The Count of Monte Cristo (2002)
Minority Report (2002)
Shallow Hal (2001)
My Life (1993)
Shadowland (1993)
Leap of Faith (1992)
Stonecreek At The Movies - One final thought is to have everyone in the group download and listen to one of the sermons covered during Stonecreek At The Movies (National Treasure, Ray, Facing The Giants and Forrest Gump). Schedule a time to get together for dinner, watch the movie and then discuss what everyone's takeaway is from the message and the movie.
